I got the scar as a toddler when I stole my brother’s bubble gum. I ran, and he chased me down the hall and shoved me from behind, launching me into an outside corner. When you have older siblings, payback is often greater than the initial offense. Fair enough. 

Mom said it was an amazing split with a clean view of my skull and of course lots of blood, being a head wound (oh the things we visit on our parents!).

I wore bangs for most of my life because I thought my forehead was ugly. And that my eyes were too small (the bangs seemed to make them look bigger). To me that scar was glaring and primary. So I covered it. 

And now, as time does what time does, it’s becoming more prominent. Deepening crevasses, slouching surfaces, and burgeoning bumpiness seem to be features of this phase.

Like most humans, I’ve picked on my appearance through the years. And isn’t it amazing that now we have programs that can change what we don’t like lickity split, clickity click? We can all look like an AI generated glamour thing, a red carpet version. And it almost looks like us. 

Except that somehow we all end up looking the same. Which is strange, isn’t it?

As I thought about this, I realized I am more interested in the differences in the sameness. I am more interested in the particularities of you, the infinite variety of you as expressions of life. And I am especially more interested in your I Am presence than in your AI avatar.

Strange that in wanting to appear beautiful, handsome, articulate, intelligent… we all end up looking and sounding the same. I guess that shows how many of us are still chasing appearance as a measure of worth.

And here is another curiosity: we are magnetized into this homogeneity through vanity.

So I’ve been looking at my own vanity, because I am not yet immune. I have my pet adjustment features. I very much like the “studio lighting” button in the portrait app of the iPhone that soften wrinkles and gives one’s face a well-lit glow.

Which brings me back to the scar and a case-in-point in the photo I’ve shared. I was oh-so tempted to erase the scar on my forehead (I confess I have done this in the past, as well as deleted the bumps that also seem to gain prominence). The outdoor, high-noon light made the scar look like a frickin’ canyon, and my vanity objected. 

Right there was a feature that could just erase it, an AI edit that could make it look “perfect,” meaning not there. Make my face look more like the automated, homogenous me.

After playing with it, I removed all of the edits (save lightening overall shadow) and decided it was better to be my scarred self than an AI-adjusted approximation. I realized in the end I liked the photo because it is full of joy. And joy is beautiful to me.

I do have a way to go with this vanity thing. I still chose a photo that is flattering rather than awkward (there were plenty of those on our informal, playful photo shoot). And I acknowledge my personal preference for elegance and beauty as well as looking younger rather than older.

Because I’m not aging without resistance. I don’t like it. I don’t like what “the shift” has done to my body. I don’t like that there are things I used to do without thinking twice that now require consideration and caution. “I” really don’t like this (speaks identity with attachment).

And yet, as a friend would say, it’s better than the alternative. Meaning of course, being six feet under, though I seriously question the assumption that remaining in this particular protoplasmic jumpsuit as long as possible is always the very best option. But I digress…

Maybe being here as what we are is also better than the alternative of being turned into a generic, pleasant-appearing, intelligent-sounding, AI-generated transhuman.

Because in the end, I’m most interested in the natural world, which includes you and me. I’m interested in *your* voice, your face and your thoughts, not the massively synthesized computer images, video, and copy that make you sound and look not like you.

Who cares about articulate and air-brushed if it’s just a façade? Who cares about nice perfect white teeth and smooth skin if it means it’s no longer you in the picture? No longer you talking? No longer a transmission of the soul resonance of you?

Why is a computer better than you?

And let’s be clear… That computer is not you. It is something else. And when you give your presence, your visage, your words, and your voice to a computer, then that is the presence that speaks, appears and lives as you in the world. Not you. Interesting how technology can usurp soul through our vanity and attachment to identity.

I suppose I’ll be left behind in the AI flood, and I’m OK with that. I’m OK not going with that flow. I do not desire to be a hybridized, chipped human with an avatar personality and appearance. Not for the sake of convenience. Not for the sake of efficiency. Not of the sake of feeding the material machine, making money, gaining followers, or anything else.

Which brings me ‘round to the heart of the matter: The consciousness journey is always about embracing everything that your sweet human *is* so that you can ultimately let it all go as the smoke and mirrors it’s always been. Loving is the path to releasing it all so that you wake up beyond it. How glorious to finally dissolve the grand illusion of separation, one identity at a time.

So I endeavor to let my vanity lead me, to let it show me where I’m snagged, where I’m identified with “me” and making such things “matter” (become matter, densify, materialize). I endeavor to let all of that dissolve like so many wrinkles under the divine filter of love so that I can live as a greater truth in the One. 

These are lofty words, I know, and I’m just a pilgrim on the path. But I love that path, and find it worthy of my whole heart. Even as I get snagged and stumble, and as I set myself free over and over again.

As always, if you’re interested in this sort of journey, I’m here to help guide you to the realness of you from the top down, with your I AM essence as your north star rather than the seductive persuasion of identity (which includes not only appearances but woundedness, as well!). I SEE you – the truth of you, the love of you, and know that everything you need to be free is within you. It’s my honor to help illumine your truth within.

Sessions are available online or in person (3-bundles available at a discount – reach out to inquire), and personally curated Island Energy Retreats are here to super-boost your trajectory into presence, freedom, and joy. Find them all at ChristineLaria.com

Love to all –

Christine