Light is the Illuminator. 

Love is the healer. 

Sometimes Love comes as gentleness. Sometimes as a hurricane. It all leads to free flight.

Healing happens through building up what is lacking as well as tearing down what is in the way. 

None of this is a new idea. We know of “tough love.” Of delivering the hard but necessary word. Of the cutting knife of surgery so the body can heal. Of being the coach that pushes people beyond their current limits so those limits completely dissolve into astounding capacity and much greater strength.

And yet I’m talking about something so profound here, about Love as a healer that deconstructs identifications and self-constructs that run so deep… it is FULL ON. It’s more than a scalpel… it’s like a sword of light, so bright that even looking at it can hurt your eyes. 

Imagine what it feels like as this light sword pierces all of your illusions, which you think of as truths about you? 

One of our Bali shamans did this for me. The first time I met with him he pretty well shredded my ego (gently and with a smile, to be sure). He hammered relentlessly on my small self. 

I now know that he drew this sword of unyielding light because he saw my capacity, my calling, my potential, and I wasn’t living it. I had stuff in the way. He was devoted to excavating the light. But at the time he just pissed me off. 

He was merciless in his love. And I was offended!  “Why is he building everyone else up so much? Going on about all of their gifts and greatness, and all I’m getting is crap, like I’m the worst of the lot? I *know* these people in this room! They’re not all that!” 

It’s so funny to me now. Because what part of me could even entertain that inner dialogue except my small-self, egoic identity? Cosmic jokes are just so annoying! BAHAHAHA!

A clairvoyant friend of mine recently spoke to me about the light I currently embody. “It’s so bright,” he said. “And you know, light’s job isn’t to contend with shadow. It is to illumine it.” 

But guess what shadow does when light illumines it? It takes aim. Because if light finds shadow, then shadow hasn’t really done its job, has it? Its effectiveness is dependent on staying out of view. 

I’ve had big schooling about this. Because I find that people don’t generally take aim at me, but their shadows do. So interesting! When seen and named, their shadows may even work through a their  human wounding and psyche, convincing them they’ve been wronged, treated unfairly, etc. etc., This let’s the human prove their position, when then serves to preserve the status quo.

This “business as usual” means shadows can then keep their person in a kind of bondage. As it turns out, I’m here for your freedom, which means I may find my light sword going at it with your shadows. Sometimes your human awareness might get caught in the middle. It takes a clear and courageous person to see beyond the shadow energies working through them. I know many such people and they have my utmost respect.

This illumination business can make me deeply uncomfortable, personally speaking. The truth I’m called to deliver in my work is challenging for my tender heart, because I know it’s painful for another’s human self (or at least it’s painful for what they’re identified as.. just like me with my Balinese brother).

And while I’d say most of my work comes through gently, as palpable unconditional love (I receive this reflection a lot), sometimes what comes through doesn’t “feel”  loving at all. It’s the hurricane in your sky (“You are the sky. Everything else… it’s just the weather” – Pema Chödrön).

Such energy or information coming through is more akin to Kali. The storm says, “No, this illusion will not stand. This distortion must go. This shadow will be fully illumined, seen and disallowed in your light, your sky. YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” (as Gandalf so memorably commanded). 

Or perhaps, more appropriately, “You, shadow will be seen, and in this revelation you shall go. You shall blow on out and through the ethers, leaving this beautiful human soul being forever free and clear!” Light.”

If this means discomfort for you, or displeasure with me, still I will continue. Because I LOVE you (even while we both may not like it at the time). It’s my life’s devotion to love you. 

This is very different than liking you (which chances are, I do that, too). My commitment to the world isn’t to like you, me, or anyone else (so funny, the emphasis on “likes”). It’s to love you, me and everyone in and into total freedom. Into brilliantly, blazingly, true LIGHT.

Honestly, I’m speaking this aloud for myself right now as much as for you. I know am being called into a much deeper resolve. Because the shadows are full on in the world right now. It is intense. They endeavor to grab souls.

Many of us are doing our brave and conscious part to name them and be in sovereign relationship with them. The people I work with are AMAZING. They are courageous. Clear. Strong. Loving. True. I am honored and in awe.

So when you work with me, for my part, I am an effective guide on the inner and the outer, which means I am a fierce and capable ally in shadow-sword-fighting as well as a kind and gentle human sitting across the table from you.

I listen to your deepest soul truth more than your small-self, human needs, because I am devoted to your highest self, your truest nature, your deepest and most powerful calling and being. And I will do all that I can to help you humanly get there, torpedos be damned (i.e. loved into nothingness), full light-speed ahead. 

And honestly, we’ll have a ton of fun, doing it. Truly. Wild, huh?

This is Love. Love that constructs and destructs. Love that clears us out, fills us up, and lives silently with us in the stillness. That sees us, loves us, laughs with us and celebrates every emancipation. 

This Love is freedom, and it is my calling to guide you ferociously and devotedly into your freedom. 

And then just like the sun… once we’ve shed the shadows of the storm, become the essence of love, we take flight. Unencumbered. Light. Free. 

And we wonder what all of the fuss was about. :)

Loving you deeply and truly – 

Christine